Here this time

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I in actuality comprise an terror plan on my cellular phone that goes off 5 times a day

To carry me help to the true fact

5 times a day

That we’re all gonna die

I occupy that you too can salvage an app that can attain it for you

And this would possibly work off randomly so that you’re

No longer looking out forward to it and this would possibly come with a bit quote about death

Or about impermanence or —

However I’m able to’t bring any longer apps into my life

And essentially

If I’m to be appropriate

Which I are trying and be despite the true fact that it’s exhausting

The terror is purely going off thrice a day excellent now because

I grew to became off the 6 p.m. one because

It would possibly possibly drag off in the locker / locker room

Whereas I became at the gym

The one ones currently going off / grew to became on

Are the 9 a.m., the noon, and the three p.m.

However because I in actuality produce other things that

Happen at those times incessantly

I occupy in the last few months I forgot what they mean

That we’re all gonna die

It’s comical because when I wrote that first sentence

“I in actuality comprise an terror plan on my cellular phone that goes off 5 times a day”

I believed it became appropriate


I had a terribly exhausting time getting right here

I’ve been to SF a few times sooner than and some of those times

It became surprisingly easy

And I believed “I ought to nonetheless come right here the total time! I like it right here!”

Or — “There are of us who I love right here!

And it’s so easy to salvage right here! I ought to nonetheless come right here the total time!”

However one in every of the times it became in actuality terrible

And quite a lot of us acquired damage

As a minimal two of the of us connected to that point out to SF are

Basically tiring now

And one in every of them perfect acquired out of the health center

I’m not going to head too mighty into that point out because —

It became an extended time in the past

However it did come up, it got right here help to me while I became

Here this time


Once when I became in SF I ate a donut with a chum

I don’t bear in mind if it became an especially

Proper donut or anything however I in actuality comprise a image of it on my cellular phone and

That’s how I are privy to it


I talked with that friend once about pictures

In regards to the expend of the cellular phone to carry pictures and the diagram

I’m not looking out to carry correct pictures with my cellular phone I’m perfect

The usage of it to carry love —


So I in actuality comprise a imprint in my cellular phone about this

Donut I experienced in SF with my friend in…


It became a adorable donut, the kind with chocolate

And rainbow sprinkles on top

However roughly crappy and mawkish-having a gape love

It would possibly possibly had been leftover from a PTA meeting in the ‘70s


I became invited to SF as a customer

However because it’s a time of restricted plug

I must be in SF…

No longer metaphorically however —

Let’s perfect exclaim my bodily body is in Seattle

Whereas the remainder of me

Which is a lot

Is in SF


Currently I reluctantly joined Clubhouse

I’m not particular I’m going to pause because

Love I acknowledged sooner than I’m not particular I’m able to bring any longer

Apps into my life

However I’m on Clubhouse excellent now because

I’m if truth be told in the artist Natasha Marin

And Natasha Marin is on Clubhouse

This morning my cellular phone educated me that Natasha Marin became

Talking on Clubhouse so I

Tapped to be part of and

Natasha Marin became talking with yet every other other folks

About naming in the African diaspora

I in actuality cherished the dialog

I’ll perfect exclaim that

I don’t scream it’s mine to speak anything bigger than that

However I’m thinking of it now because

Questions around naming comprise come up for me so repeatedly

Since I’ve been visiting “SF” and also since I acknowledged

My body is in “Seattle”


I grew to became off the 9 p.m. we’re-all-gonna-die terror because

I in actuality comprise yet every other aspect I in actuality comprise to attain for the time being each day and

I became getting puzzled and overwhelmed

So what’s if truth be told appropriate is

I venerable to comprise an terror plan on my cellular phone to head off 5 times a day

To carry me help to the true fact

We’re all gonna die


I regarded up the imprint I took of the donut

It became if truth be told diversified from how I remembered it


On all once more out to SF I acquired to head to a party on a boat

I’ve never been ready to talk adequately about this skills

Declare what I must speak about it

Possibly all it is a ways is love

I’m sorry

Possibly that’s all that needs to be acknowledged

About that party on that boat in SF

This morning I became paying consideration to the Spotify position

A workers creator at The Atlantic made in honor of Sophie Xeon

I acquired an electronic mail about it and added it to my library

I heard a track — I don’t know what track it became or who became

Singing it however I positively heard the lyric and

I would possibly not omit it:

“damage of us damage of us”


After I’m going to the gym I expend the pool

I don’t swim I perfect roughly bounce around

I name it intuitive water dancing


I’ve been in SF for seventeen days now

Other than for one uncertain comment

Linking things of us attain to methods of us are

The first day became if truth be told magical

I entered by means of the head of a line that became virtually

On the fringe of a page

It became a white line on a murky background

It went straight for a while after which acquired squiggly

Here’s obviously a translation of an instantaneous skills

So it’s extremely wrong

I’m perfect looking out to produce a high-stage summary

And some uncooked files

Later, this hasn’t came about yet, I’ll drink bubble tea and

Deem about how arbitrary in fashion increments of time are

On the eighth day I did multiply and became irregular

We had some questions:

SF, the place had been you born?

SF, attain you comprise any siblings?

SF, are your mosses and birds the identical as our mosses and birds?

And SF, while you had a time machine, would you drag backward or forward?

You don’t comprise to acknowledge to

We’re perfect inserting those available

Thank you for having us

Of the forms of tones of voice we heard right here

We most fashionable whispering

And of the rhythms we most fashionable unhurried despite the true fact that

Common became acceptable


Let’s exclaim I got right here to SF for a convention on the long flee

Of personnel work with older girls folk

A modality to toughen the usual of life

Let’s exclaim I flew over SF and acquired an on a conventional foundation glance

Let’s exclaim I got right here to SF for the summer

Of affection

Basically I did once come the total system right here

With my body and all the pieces

Lawful to gaze a Suzanne Lacy imprint

And I’d completely attain that again

Given the different


For a while when I lived in Brooklyn a while in the past I

Did this aspect with yet every other of us

We organized this aspect for a while called The 25c Opera

Of San Francisco

It became a month-to-month match for the enactment

Of texts and theatricals and it became named

After this line I read by Gertrude Stein or this

Line I read about Gertrude Stein about how she

Extinct to love to head to the actual 25c opera of SF when she became a kid

Because she cherished how

Pretend it became or how

Intelligent it became or


Anyway it appeared love she cherished to head there for enjoyable so I believed

That would be a correct identify for our aspect


I’ve been making a checklist not too long in the past

Of girls folk I love who’re alive excellent now however who’re all love all people else

Gonna die

It’s if truth be told long

As share of my examine for this time out I became going to gaze them all up and gaze

Whether or not any of them had ever visited SF

Suzanne Lacy is on the checklist

Also, embarrassingly, Octavia Butler is on the checklist

Anyone did very proper let me know that

Octavia Butler has already died

I’m not particular how I didn’t know that already

Or incessantly I occupy per chance I did are privy to it however I perfect roughly

Didn’t must accept it so I saved her on the checklist as a system to love —

I don’t know love —

If we are saying “Octavia Butler is gonna die”

Then per chance she hasn’t yet?


I’m not if truth be told a cat person

However once when I became in SF

My friend left me by myself at her condominium

And her cat — who isn’t particularly love… cuddly

Sat in my lap for a extremely long time

She fell asleep there

It felt if truth be told special

Since I’ve been visiting SF

I’ve been fascinating on how I’m also visiting Seattle

And how all people and all the pieces if truth be told is and all over

I reset my terror this morning

To drag off at 9: 36, 11: 16, 1: 08, 3: 07, and 5: 53

To carry me help to the true fact

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