Here this time

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I in actuality comprise an terror plan on my cellular phone that goes off 5 times a day


To carry me help to the true fact


5 times a day


That we’re all gonna die

I occupy that you too can salvage an app that can attain it for you


And this would possibly work off randomly so that you’re


No longer looking out forward to it and this would possibly come with a bit quote about death


Or about impermanence or —

However I’m able to’t bring any longer apps into my life

And essentially


If I’m to be appropriate


Which I are trying and be despite the true fact that it’s exhausting


The terror is purely going off thrice a day excellent now because


I grew to became off the 6 p.m. one because


It would possibly possibly drag off in the locker / locker room


Whereas I became at the gym

The one ones currently going off / grew to became on


Are the 9 a.m., the noon, and the three p.m.


However because I in actuality produce other things that


Happen at those times incessantly


I occupy in the last few months I forgot what they mean


That we’re all gonna die

It’s comical because when I wrote that first sentence


“I in actuality comprise an terror plan on my cellular phone that goes off 5 times a day”


I believed it became appropriate

2


I had a terribly exhausting time getting right here

I’ve been to SF a few times sooner than and some of those times


It became surprisingly easy


And I believed “I ought to nonetheless come right here the total time! I like it right here!”


Or — “There are of us who I love right here!


And it’s so easy to salvage right here! I ought to nonetheless come right here the total time!”

However one in every of the times it became in actuality terrible


And quite a lot of us acquired damage


As a minimal two of the of us connected to that point out to SF are


Basically tiring now


And one in every of them perfect acquired out of the health center


I’m not going to head too mighty into that point out because —

It became an extended time in the past

However it did come up, it got right here help to me while I became

Here this time

3


Once when I became in SF I ate a donut with a chum


I don’t bear in mind if it became an especially


Proper donut or anything however I in actuality comprise a image of it on my cellular phone and


That’s how I are privy to it


Occurred

I talked with that friend once about pictures


In regards to the expend of the cellular phone to carry pictures and the diagram


I’m not looking out to carry correct pictures with my cellular phone I’m perfect


The usage of it to carry love —


Notes

So I in actuality comprise a imprint in my cellular phone about this


Donut I experienced in SF with my friend in…


2017

It became a adorable donut, the kind with chocolate


And rainbow sprinkles on top


However roughly crappy and mawkish-having a gape love


It would possibly possibly had been leftover from a PTA meeting in the ‘70s

4


I became invited to SF as a customer


However because it’s a time of restricted plug


I must be in SF…


No longer metaphorically however —

Let’s perfect exclaim my bodily body is in Seattle


Whereas the remainder of me


Which is a lot


Is in SF

5


Currently I reluctantly joined Clubhouse


I’m not particular I’m going to pause because


Love I acknowledged sooner than I’m not particular I’m able to bring any longer


Apps into my life


However I’m on Clubhouse excellent now because


I’m if truth be told in the artist Natasha Marin


And Natasha Marin is on Clubhouse


This morning my cellular phone educated me that Natasha Marin became


Talking on Clubhouse so I


Tapped to be part of and


Natasha Marin became talking with yet every other other folks


About naming in the African diaspora

I in actuality cherished the dialog


I’ll perfect exclaim that


I don’t scream it’s mine to speak anything bigger than that


However I’m thinking of it now because


Questions around naming comprise come up for me so repeatedly


Since I’ve been visiting “SF” and also since I acknowledged


My body is in “Seattle”

6


I grew to became off the 9 p.m. we’re-all-gonna-die terror because


I in actuality comprise yet every other aspect I in actuality comprise to attain for the time being each day and


I became getting puzzled and overwhelmed

So what’s if truth be told appropriate is


I venerable to comprise an terror plan on my cellular phone to head off 5 times a day


To carry me help to the true fact


We’re all gonna die

7


I regarded up the imprint I took of the donut

It became if truth be told diversified from how I remembered it

8


On all once more out to SF I acquired to head to a party on a boat

I’ve never been ready to talk adequately about this skills


Declare what I must speak about it

Possibly all it is a ways is love

I’m sorry

Possibly that’s all that needs to be acknowledged


About that party on that boat in SF

This morning I became paying consideration to the Spotify position


A workers creator at The Atlantic made in honor of Sophie Xeon


I acquired an electronic mail about it and added it to my library


I heard a track — I don’t know what track it became or who became


Singing it however I positively heard the lyric and


I would possibly not omit it:

“damage of us damage of us”

9


After I’m going to the gym I expend the pool


I don’t swim I perfect roughly bounce around


I name it intuitive water dancing

10


I’ve been in SF for seventeen days now

Other than for one uncertain comment


Linking things of us attain to methods of us are


The first day became if truth be told magical

I entered by means of the head of a line that became virtually


On the fringe of a page


It became a white line on a murky background


It went straight for a while after which acquired squiggly

Here’s obviously a translation of an instantaneous skills


So it’s extremely wrong


I’m perfect looking out to produce a high-stage summary


And some uncooked files

Later, this hasn’t came about yet, I’ll drink bubble tea and


Deem about how arbitrary in fashion increments of time are

On the eighth day I did multiply and became irregular


We had some questions:


SF, the place had been you born?


SF, attain you comprise any siblings?


SF, are your mosses and birds the identical as our mosses and birds?


And SF, while you had a time machine, would you drag backward or forward?

You don’t comprise to acknowledge to


We’re perfect inserting those available


Thank you for having us

Of the forms of tones of voice we heard right here


We most fashionable whispering


And of the rhythms we most fashionable unhurried despite the true fact that


Common became acceptable

11


Let’s exclaim I got right here to SF for a convention on the long flee


Of personnel work with older girls folk


A modality to toughen the usual of life

Let’s exclaim I flew over SF and acquired an on a conventional foundation glance

Let’s exclaim I got right here to SF for the summer


Of affection

Basically I did once come the total system right here


With my body and all the pieces


Lawful to gaze a Suzanne Lacy imprint


And I’d completely attain that again


Given the different

12


For a while when I lived in Brooklyn a while in the past I


Did this aspect with yet every other of us


We organized this aspect for a while called The 25c Opera


Of San Francisco


It became a month-to-month match for the enactment


Of texts and theatricals and it became named


After this line I read by Gertrude Stein or this


Line I read about Gertrude Stein about how she


Extinct to love to head to the actual 25c opera of SF when she became a kid


Because she cherished how


Pretend it became or how


Intelligent it became or


Something


Anyway it appeared love she cherished to head there for enjoyable so I believed


That would be a correct identify for our aspect

13


I’ve been making a checklist not too long in the past


Of girls folk I love who’re alive excellent now however who’re all love all people else


Gonna die

It’s if truth be told long

As share of my examine for this time out I became going to gaze them all up and gaze


Whether or not any of them had ever visited SF

Suzanne Lacy is on the checklist

Also, embarrassingly, Octavia Butler is on the checklist

Anyone did very proper let me know that


Octavia Butler has already died


I’m not particular how I didn’t know that already


Or incessantly I occupy per chance I did are privy to it however I perfect roughly


Didn’t must accept it so I saved her on the checklist as a system to love —


I don’t know love —


If we are saying “Octavia Butler is gonna die”


Then per chance she hasn’t yet?

14


I’m not if truth be told a cat person


However once when I became in SF


My friend left me by myself at her condominium


And her cat — who isn’t particularly love… cuddly


Sat in my lap for a extremely long time

She fell asleep there

It felt if truth be told special

Since I’ve been visiting SF


I’ve been fascinating on how I’m also visiting Seattle


And how all people and all the pieces if truth be told is and all over

I reset my terror this morning


To drag off at 9: 36, 11: 16, 1: 08, 3: 07, and 5: 53


To carry me help to the true fact

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